Monday, 25 June 2018

What Online Hate Actually Means & Why I'll Never Let Anyone Dull My Sparkle

Simply Be Bikini on UK Plus Size Blogger WhatLauraLoves Laura Ferry

On a recent trip to Riverdale Hall Hotel in Northumberland, I really felt as though I was chanelling my inner Minnie Mouse in this gorgeous Beach To Beach Twist Front Bikini Top and High Waist Twist Briefs, what do you think?

You might have spotted it already on my Instagram as I'm really focusing on my content over there right now.  Its been amazing to hear from so many of you saying that you've bought a bikini to wear on holiday thanks to my posts.  It makes me SO HAPPY to think that I've helped someone else in some little way.

However there are downsides to Instagram and one of them is the haters.  I must admit that I don't get too many of them and thanks to this thick skin I've developed, I'm able to just delete, block and carry on slaying my day but that's not the case for everyone.

The reason I hate the haters is because of the impact that they can have on other people reading my post.  What someone thinks about me doesn't bother me in the slightest.  Honey, if I am wearing something its because I think that I look and feel good and that's the only opinion that matters but what upsets me is that other women who are still in the early stages of their body confidence journey may see the nasty, ignorant and quite honestly, pathetic comments that some people leave on my or others Instagram accounts and take their comments to heart as a reflection onto them.

Its important that everyone out there understands that these negative comments say far more about the person leaving them than they could ever say about me or anyone else reading them.

On Instagram recently, someone left a trying-to-be-mean comment on one of my bikini photos saying something along the lines of ‘why’d you put a tent in the water?’ to which I eye rolled and deleted before posting this to protect her privacy despite not being entirely sure whether someone casting out such hate willy nilly should be afforded such kindness.

WhatLauraLoves UK Plus Size Blogger wearing Simply Be Bikini

At the time, my first thought was *crying laughing face* thats bitchy AF but then I headed over to her Instagram, saw the words she’d written in her bio and realised that this person must be hurting;

 ‘Nothing causes more heartache than those who constantly wear a mask, have it shatter from the pain they’ve been hiding from the world.’ 

While I would usually simply delete the comment and not respond, I instead chose to send her a message saying how I felt;

‘I wish you good luck. Life is a battle and I hope you are able to be happier in it. People who leave comments like yours on others Instagrams aren’t happy in their lives. I hope one day you’re as happy as I am and I wish you all the best xxx’

While I rarely get hate online, when I do it doesn’t hurt me like it used to. I look at the people who do it and feel wholeheartedly sorry for them because if they were as happy as I am, they wouldn't have space in their heart to try to be mean to someone else.  I've found that a lot with people in life; when they're being nasty about someone else theres usually unhappiness, jealousy, envy or fear projecting from them in some way and this is something that I would encourage others out there to see if anyone is awful to them from time to time.  It is usually coming from a much deeper place and most certainly a reflection on them, not you.

You may never know what a hater or a bully is going through in life but they sure as hell cant be content and happy if they’re leaving comments trying to be nasty on others images.  Especially on one like mine here where the caption is about loving yourself and how confident I feel. It takes a really sad kind of unhappiness to try to bring down someone who is spreading love and light to help others.

Rather than feel sad or angry towards someone who has been awful to you, wish them well and let it go.  I know its hard but you cannot let that negativity consume you.  You've only got one life and you deserve to live it feeling happy and fulfilled.  That's why I’ll never let anyone dull my sparkle.  Don't let them dull yours either!

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5 comments

  1. It sounds like you handle the haters with such grace. The issue is with themselves, not you x

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  2. This is a positive way to think and being online it's very easy to become a target in whatever you do unfortunately but sometimes it's just those who are miserable in their own life and want others who are living their best life to feel lower than them x

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  3. You are so nice when it comes to the negativity, the girl must not be in a good place and instead of ignoring her you've tried to help x

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  4. I think you are fab and spreading such a positive message of love and kindness. Keep going lady!

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  5. I loved this post.

    The thing that makes me the saddest is that the hate and the naughtiness is coming from another girl. Come on, we al know how it feels to put a bikini on and even if you feel comfortable, how you are still a human being and sensitive to destructive criticism. Why we would do that to other women? Every time I see a lady in a bikini, swimsuit or even a nun dress, I always think "she could be my friend and together we could go to live girlfriend adventures"!

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