Being a mom is hard. There are few people who would deny that. Of course, it’s also a beautiful journey with lots of rewards and moments of joy along the way. But, what do you do when the hard stuff completely outweighs the joyousness of bringing little lives into the world and guiding them to adulthood?
Everyone is different, of course, but there are a few thighs that have helped many a stressed-out mom find the joy in life again, so it is definitely worth trying the following if being a mom is feeling tougher than it should for you right now:
Embrace the Chaos (Because It’s Not Going Anywhere)
Let’s start out this journey by stopping, by which I mean, you should stop pretending that chaos isn’t an intrinsic part of motherhood, and a big one at that! Kids are messy, loud, and unpredictable. And guess what? That’s okay! Embrace the mess and the noise because it’s all part of the package. Sure, there will be days when you look around and think, “How did my house turn into a disaster zone?” But instead of stressing about it, try to find the humor in it. After all, these are the moments you’ll look back on and laugh about one day.
For example, when your toddler decides that the living room is the perfect place to dump an entire box of cereal, instead of getting frustrated, take a deep breath and remind yourself that this, too, shall pass. And hey, maybe grab your phone and snap a picture—this could be a great one to pull out when they’re older!
Celebrate the Little Milestones
We all know that big milestones like first steps and first words, or your newborn rolling over, are worth celebrating, but what about the little ones? Finding joy in motherhood means appreciating the small victories just as much as the big ones. Did your baby sleep through the night for the first time in what feels like forever? That’s a reason to celebrate! Did your child finally eat something other than chicken nuggets? Break out the confetti!
Celebrating these small wins can make even the toughest days feel a little brighter. And let’s be honest, sometimes it’s those tiny victories that keep us going when the days are long and patience is running low. So go ahead, do a little happy dance when your child does something new or makes you proud, no matter how small it may seem. Joy is in the details.
Connect with Your Mom Tribe
No one understands the ups and downs of motherhood like other moms do, right? When things get tough, reaching out to your mom friends can be one of the best ways to get back on an even keel. Whether it’s a quick text, a venting session over coffee, or even a meme exchange that makes you laugh out loud, connecting with other moms who are in the trenches with you can make a world of difference to your mental health and how you handle life as a mom.
These are the people who won’t judge you when you admit that you fed your kids cereal for dinner (again) or when you confess that you haven’t showered in three days. Your mom tribe gets it, and they’re there to lift you up when you’re feeling down. Plus, sometimes just knowing that someone else is going through the same thing can help you find the humor in the chaos.
Carve Out “Me Time” (Without the Guilt)
Let’s talk about self-care for a minute. Yes, I know, it’s a buzzword that gets thrown around a lot, but there’s a reason for it. Taking time for yourself is crucial to finding joy in motherhood, especially on those tough days when everything seems to go wrong and the kids appear to have forgotten how to behave. But here’s the thing—self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. It can be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee while it’s still hot, taking a walk around the block, or spending ten minutes reading a book that doesn’t involve talking animals for once.
The key is to carve out these little moments for yourself without feeling guilty about it. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so take care of yourself first. Whether it’s asking your partner to take over for a bit so you can have some alone time or sneaking in a few minutes of peace while the kids are napping, those moments can recharge you and help you find more joy in the everyday craziness of mom life.
Laugh Through the Tough Moments
Laughter really is the best medicine, especially when you’re having one of those “Why did I think I could handle this?” days. When things get tough for you, try to find the humor in the situation if you can. Did your child just smear peanut butter all over the dog? Annoying, yes, but also kind of hilarious if you step back and think about it. The ability to laugh at the absurdity of it all can help you keep things in perspective.
And don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself, too. We all have those less-than-perfect mom moments, whether it’s sending your kid to school with mismatched shoes or realizing halfway through the day that you’ve been wearing your shirt inside out. Instead of beating yourself up, have a good laugh and move on. Motherhood is a messy, imperfect journey, and sometimes the only way to survive it is to laugh your way through it.
Focus on the Present
When motherhood starts to get overwhelming for you, it’s a really good idea to start focusing on the present moment, instead of worrying about whether your kids will get into a good college in ten years time or ruminating about that one time when you lost your patience and yelled at the kids 3 years ago. Mindfulness meditation is a good tool to help you with this, but you know what? So is simply focusing on the soft breath of the baby in your arms or the sounds of your kids laughing as they play. Now is the place to find joy.
Give Yourself Some Grace
Last, but definitely not least, you should always cut yourself some slack. Being a mom is the hardest job there is, and you often do not get any thanks for all of the hard work you put in. Not only that, but no mom who has ever lived has managed to get everything right 100% of the time. Why should you be any different? There are always going to be days when you lose it with the kids or when the laundry doesn’t get done, but will it really matter in the great scheme of things? Probably not!
So, stop beating yourself up about it, and give yourself some grace. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to show up and do the best you can for your kids. You’ll find more joy in motherhood if you stop reaching for perfection!
Finding Joy in the Everyday
Motherhood isn’t always easy, but it’s filled with moments of joy if you know where to look, and of course, if you make the effort to look. It’s all about changing your mindset so that you stop sweating the small stuff and start appreciating the beautiful family life you have, even if it’s not always as easy as it should be. Go with the flow and motherhood will open up to you in ways you never knew possible!
