What You See in the Mirror: Why Some of Us Struggle to Appreciate How we Look

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How do you feel when you look in the mirror?  So many people cast a critical eye over themselves every time they see their reflection.  I think a number of factors are to blame for this from the media to those magazines circling flaws on the front cover and even our family.  So many of us hear parents, grandparents and other relatives speaking negatively about themselves and I really do believe that hating on ourselves is often a learned behaviour.

Learning to accept what you currently see is so important as is loving who you are in that moment and being happy with what you have today.  It doesn’t mean that you can’t change or bring new things into your life but its about being thankful for what you already have around you, who is there for you, the body you currently and have being grateful for who you are already as a person.  I used to hate change but over the years I’ve realised it can be a good thing in the right circumstances and personal development is something to be embraced.

There isn’t anything wrong with wanting to remain the same nor is there anything wrong with wanting to change, as long as you’re doing it for you and you alone.  Know that theres no amount of money in the bank, surgery or designer handbags that will make you happy, you need to be happy with what you have now.  Then if theres changes that you want to make then go for it.  For example, if you want to work on being a kinder person, accept who you are today as a product of your past, draw a line and look for resources to help you to be better.  Similarly, if you don’t like your nose and are considering contacting someone capable of delivering impeccable nose job results, for example, then learn to love your features and be grateful for what you already have while considering other options to give yourself the appearance you may like.

It’s all about changing your outlook.  Here are a few tips…

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Let’s go back to the nose example (I use this as an example as a woman I know recently had a nose job at 43 after hating her nose since she broke it in hockey at the age of 13!).  It may well be that you are not so keen on the shape or size of your nose, for example, but it can often pay to look at the bigger picture and gain a sense of appreciation with regard to exactly how amazing your body is, in general and how great your existing nose is in terms of its function.

Learning to respect how incredible your body is in terms of its wide range of external and internal functions can help change your perspective and induce a more positive attitude and feelings of gratitude as to how hard your body works to keep you alive and functioning as a human.


Another key issue that can have an impact on how you view your body is modern culture and a social media trend that is focused on appearance and the “perfect body”.

There can be pressures created by these attitudes that could potentially make you feel inclined to take steps to change aspects of your appearance in order to fall in line with modern thinking.

Sometimes, modern attitudes dictate that the emphasis is too much on how every aspect of your body looks and other aspects such as how perfect your skin needs to be.  It doesn’t hurt to remember that there is no such thing as the perfect body.

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Another important consideration is the ageing process.

It is totally unrealistic to expect to see the same body shape and tone that you had in your twenties, for instance, as you now have if you are in your forties, or older.

We evolve mentally and physically over the years but it is all too easy to focus on surface issues rather than taking into account a more meaningful aspect of our relationship with our bodies.

There are plenty of enhancements you can turn to make you feel good about what you see in the mirror, and it is fair to say that while many use plastic surgery, beauty enhancements and short term treatments in a bid to make what they think is an improvement to their appearance, it may or may not bring them the peace of mind they are seeking.  From the outset and throughout, it always does you good to learn to appreciate what you have.


To help yourself to feel more grateful for what you already have, look in the mirror each morning and tell yourself what you love about your body and what 3 things you’re grateful for. Out loud preferably.  It goes a long way in helping you to feel better about yourself.

Remember that you’re perfect exactly as you are!

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